写的 伊丽莎白Exline
写的 伊丽莎白Exline
“我习惯了 障碍. 我已经习惯了 伤害.”
那是雷金纳德·A. 斯蒂芬斯，工商管理硕士，教育博士. 证明上下文就是一切, 史蒂芬斯 says these words not out of despair but as a matter-of-fact response to a difficult situation. 痛苦是生活的一部分. 重要的是你如何回应.
声明一下，斯蒂芬斯的回应方式多种多样. 这是他事业的开端. 他曾担任副厨师，NFL球员和J. 洛杉矶的保罗·盖蒂博物馆. He’s worked at a crime-ravaged Los Angeles high school where someone was murdered in front of him. 他花了两年的时间在自己的厨房里为无家可归的人提供食物. He loves to roller-skate, he’s working on a book — oh, and he’s currently the vice principal at 西方基督教高中 在加州的奥普兰.
但正如斯蒂芬斯会告诉你的，这仅仅是个开始. The essence of who he truly is may be best illustrated by a pivotal life event that occurred while he was working at that tough high school in LA.
“我听说有16名大四学生打算退学,他回忆道, 于是我去找校长，问他我能不能和学生们谈谈, 不知道我要说什么，甚至不知道我要做什么. 我只是想听听他们的故事.”
史蒂芬斯 brought pizza and soft drinks and spent two hours crying and listening to the students’ stories. 他了解到，有些人因为帮派而辍学. 两个女孩怀孕了. 有些人因为父母是帮派成员而辍学.
于是，我一边哭泣一边祈祷. 然后，我想到了一个主意. 我告诉每一个学生，‘我不会让你们中的任何一个人退学. 在我的眼皮底下.“我告诉他们我会和他们一起回学校，”他说. “那一天, we drew up 17 contracts [stating] that I would return to school for one year only if 所有 16 stayed in school and 毕业. …他们 所有 毕业.”
其中14人上了大学. 斯蒂芬斯也是如此. He enrolled at University of Phoenix (UPOX) two days after the contracts were signed and went on to earn his 刑事司法理学学士学位; then, 16 months later, his 工商管理硕士. 他最近赢得了 教育学博士学位.
那些学生? They built lives and careers — and they still stay in touch with 史蒂芬斯. “这就是我成为凤凰的原因，”他补充道. “不仅仅是因为我们从灰烬中重生. 但我们有时会在低空飞行 带着别人一起走.”
史蒂芬斯’ path to that moment was, in some ways, as rocky as the one his students had trodden. 他在底特律出生和长大, one of four boys who lived in the city but who spent weekends working on their grandparents’ farm. 斯蒂芬斯11岁时，他的父亲去世了.
This was the first of several traumatic events that would punctuate 史蒂芬斯’ life. 他的回应是停止讲话一年r. 他不再吃他和父亲分享的食物. He slipped into the background at school, dealing with the occasional scuffle in silence. 他妈妈给了他所需的空间, surrounding him with uncles and his grandfather as a circle of support while he grieved.
“然后我就出来了，”他简单地说. “我对妈妈说的第一句话是，我想，‘我准备好了.’”
事实证明，斯蒂芬斯已经做好了很多准备. He finished high school and started working odd jobs while practicing footb所有 with semi-pro teams. 他发现自己有烹饪的天赋，于是当了一名厨师 s我们的厨师. 他还生了一个孩子, 一个叫艾丽卡的女孩, whose lungs were underdeveloped and who lived less than a month in the hospital.
“她活着的整个月我都在医院，”他回忆道. “She was in critical condition, and I stayed there until they turned the machines off. 他们让我抱着她. 她睁开眼睛，笑了笑，就这样在我怀里逝去了.”
斯蒂芬斯仍然带着她的照片, 他仍然保留着经历烙入他内心的承诺. For that was the moment, he says, that he dedicated his life to children.
随着时间的推移，斯蒂芬斯的决心越来越坚定. He moved to LA to play on the Los Angeles Rams’ practice squad between 1990 and 1993. 但这并没有让他成为“超级明星”,” it did give him a platform through which he could connect with youth. His church also helped facilitate these opportunities through youth groups and speaking engagements.
When he left footb所有, he took a detour into another field that interested him: security. 他和 J. 保罗·盖蒂博物馆 在职业生涯达到顶峰之前，他做了将近十年的工作. 那时他考虑过加入警察队伍, 但他的母亲担心他的安全, 所以他换了一份工作. 问题是这份工作同样危险.
“我遇到了一位听说过我的年轻女士，”斯蒂芬斯说. “她说，‘嘿，我是一所学校的校长. 这里是洛杉矶最糟糕的地方，我们还有帮派问题. 你能过来帮忙吗?’”
斯蒂芬斯做到了，这个职业改变了他的生活.
尽管看到有人在他面前被谋杀(一个警告), 他怀疑, 为了远离帮派事务), and despite there being a hit out on him during his first week on the job, 史蒂芬斯坚持. He collaborated with the police and made that same school one of the safest after two years.
今天, 斯蒂芬斯仍然和孩子们一起工作, 但他越来越关注如何产生更大的影响. 他知道自己有与年轻人沟通的天赋. 他知道他有来之不易的智慧可以分享. Here, he shares some of that to explore where his drive comes from and where he sees it taking him.
说实话，这很难. 学会如何管理时间是很困难的. 我还记得我在UOPX上的第一堂课. 他们讨论了时间管理, and that scared me because I knew my time management had gotten a little loose. 我没有进入那种足球和训练的模式. 但我很有竞争力. I knew that if I bought in, I would go 所有 the way, no matter what the 障碍 were.
我的父母和上帝. 我在农场长大，看着我的妈妈，爸爸和我的家人. 我懂得了努力工作的价值. 我懂得了如果你播种，你就会收获. That was probably the biggest lesson to learn: If you pour into something, 你会得到回报的.
I went home, I looked in my refrigerator, and I pulled out 所有 the food in there. 大部分都是我自己做的，然后出去喂无家可归的人. 我必须做点什么. 我连续两年为无家可归的人提供食物.
I had more food in my refrigerator when I was laid off than I did when I was working. 我没有失业救济金. 我有一点积蓄，一年之内就花光了. 但是上帝支持着我. 我付清了所有的抵押贷款. 在我被解雇期间，几乎所有的东西都得到了支付. 这是一种祝福，一个奇迹，因为人们会寄钱给我. Friends would say, “Hey man, I know you need $100,” or, “I know you need this.“两年来，所有的东西都得到了支付. 所以，我必须回馈社会.
我没有.我的目标是书. And to get on speaking tours, to be able to get out the story that I’m telling you. 我告诉你的只是冰山一角. I re所有y want to share with the youth and other people about how to overcome ch所有enges.
I can sit here for hours and tell you some of the things I’ve experienced: being shot at, 冲进着火的房子救人. 我希望能够分享这些, 不是吹牛, but just to tell people that there’s opportunity and there are ch所有enges out there. 这是关于帮助别人. 这是关于加强.
Because we have a society in which [few] take the time to sit quietly and listen to their souls. And I want to be the c所有er to say, “Step back, take some quiet time, listen to your soul. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and it doesn’t have to be a train. 也可以是别的东西. Maybe that light is trying to draw you in to step into something brand new.”
伊丽莎白Exline has been telling stories ever since she won a writing contest in third grade. 她的报道涉及设计和建筑, 旅行, 生活方式内容和许多其他主题的国家, 区域, 本地及品牌刊物. 另外, she's worked in content development for Marriott International and manuscript development for a variety of authors.
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